Let me start off by saying this, I think the label "step" has such a negative perception attached to it, that I never want to be referred to as anyone's step-anything. I simply enjoy being me. With that being said, I have acquired two children from my significant other's past relationships and I can still remember our first meet, almost three years later. I didn't feel anxious, although a lot of pressure was riding on how well we meshed. My sig is all about his children, so if we had not meshed well, well we would not be we today.
Our little family unit is very cohesive and undeniably happy. I will admit, I would find myself correcting people all the time when they would say anything pertaining to my kids, making sure that strangers knew I was not their biological mom and that was something that bothered my sig. He felt it was an unnecessary piece of information and as much as I understood where he was coming from, I still felt the need to clarify until one day I noticed that the children don't make the distinction, so why do I? Why should I? We all know that we are not biologically related, but our love is greater than that. Suddenly I stopped being so quick to reply and correct people. It was especially important not to do when I had children of my own because I pride myself on treating all of the children the same, whether I had them, raised them, or not. Being a caring, loving, and consistent role model in their lives is what matters most.
S...The S can stand for separate or suited...You can be an entity separate from the family unit that has been brought together non-biologically or you can be an asset that is well suited for the position and the tasks at hand.
T...The T can stand for temporary or tenacious...You have to take a stand on how you truly view yourself, in respect to those who matter and existed before you, as a temporary figure in their lives or as a tenacious being that has all intent on being one with.
E...The E can stand for extraneous or efficient...This is where it gets deep, this is when you must weigh in on your own worth to those outside of your worth, are you just an extra in their lives or are you a causative force, in what will come to work better than a well oiled machine.
P...The P can stand for passive or poised...Who you are makes a world of difference to who they are, be it the significant other or the children, this is the difference between choosing to either not be 100% or to be 150% because anyone in this position knows it takes more than your all and anything less than it, is equivalent to absolutely nothing.
S...This S is simply the element to sink or swim. This is the place where laws of attraction aren't necessarily true. This is where magnetic fields lose their spark. This is where individuals decide to fail or survive. There are so many moments in blended families or families in general, that can be trying. But you have to have the will to swim, or you sink.
That is it, those are the STEPS. Being a presence in the life of someone else's child is a huge responsibility. It is not for the weak or the faint-hearted. It takes a mental strength and composure like no other. But most importantly, it is a choice!
Feel free for applaud those who STEP in and really STEP up!
Note that I left out the drama and odds and ends that come with outside, connected factors, it was indeed left out intentionally, because their connection should not have a place in what is being beautifully and strategically constructed. However if they rear their heads, feel free to use the STEPS to walk above them.
No comments:
Post a Comment